Daniel’s New Friend

 

 

Looking back at that day, I remember the slow simmer that bubbled through me.  Anger, dissatisfaction, annoyance, frustration, I can’t even put a good label on what I was feeling.  I felt off, wrong, my life just wasn’t right and while I knew it, I didn’t know exactly why or what I could do about it.  As I write this now, looking back on that day that so completely changed my life, I can’t quite believe how blind I was then.  I had what everyone said was supposed to be the best things in adulthood:  I was married, had a good car almost paid off, a decent home, good neighborhood, steady job, and what surely had to be the best – a son.  But I was stuck in my own little internal stressed out hell, silently screaming in anguish as I watched the very best part of my life, my 11-year old son Daniel, avoid me at every turn.  He is growing up so rapidly, coming into puberty and all the fun that brings and really into an age where he can begin to compete with his father on physical and intellectual levels. But my son was avoiding me, and to be fair, I couldn’t blame him a bit.  Here is the story of how one little angel gave me and my son a second chance.

 

 

“Daniel, could you come out here please,” I called from the living room. I was just home from work, and it was another ‘Thursday panic day’. What began as a rough day got worse and worse, and I came home to Daniel’s socks and shoes in the middle of the living room floor. As with most things, I found them the hard way: by stubbing my little toe on one of the shoes.  Daniel came out into the living room where I was sitting in my chair rubbing my toe and scowling at the offending shoes.

 

“Yeah Dad,” he answered from a few feet away.  He had changed out of his school pants into some old shorts. Typical play clothes.

 

“Boy, how many times do I have to tell you to put your stuff away?” I growled, slowly looking up at him. He blanched a little as he saw the shoes and warily made his way over to pick them up. I noticed a large bruise on his shin that looked new and must have been painful.

 

“Wait, come here,” I said to him. He looked at me and I saw he was afraid. Afraid? It shocked me for a minute, and to be honest made me a bit defensive and angry that he would be afraid of his own father. “I said come here,” I growled. 

 

He took a step back, took a quick look around, and then finally drew nearer. I reached out and grabbed his wrist and pulled him to me. He was stiff, leaning away, guarded.

 

“What happened to your shin?” 

 

“Nothing. Just bumped it playing, I guess. I didn’t really notice it,” he said.

 

“Well, isn’t it painful?” I asked. Boys’ bruises come and go with the territory of simply being a boy. I didn’t doubt him about his acquiring the bruise without realizing where, when, or how, but I had a brother that nearly died of leukemia, so I knew the risks of unexplained bruising.

 

“Yeah, a little bit. No big deal. I was playing soccer at school in gym class. I guess I got it then.”

 

He rubbed the bruise a bit with his hand, then looked at me and shrugged. I reached out and pulled him closer to me and into my lap so I could look at his bruise. It didn’t look bad, so I began a search for others on his legs and then under his shirt and on his arms. He put up with it, but it was obvious he was uncomfortable as he was still very stiff and wouldn’t look me in the face. This closed off routine was really getting on my nerves, so I turned his torso a bit so he could look me in the face.

 

“Danny, why are you so tense?”

 

“I’m not, Dad. I’m really sorry for leaving my shoes on the floor. I’ll put them up, now,” he said trying to pull away from me.

 

“No, hold on, kiddo. I just wasn’t watching where I was going and stubbed my toe. You know how that feels, right?”

 

He nodded and looked increasingly worried. 

 

“It was no big deal, just sort of capped off a rough day for me. To be honest with you, I would rather talk about what you are so nervous about. You got something going on that I should know about?”  Daniel’s eyes grew wide at my sudden shift to teasing and quickly looked away. Obviously, something was going on, but he didn’t seem too willing to talk about it.  “Or, I could just sort of dig it out…” and I began to tickle his ribs and neck, which started Daniel screaming.  He is very ticklish. 

 

Right about then, my blushing bride came into the living room screaming, as usual.  I’d heard her banging around in the kitchen but hadn’t made it in that far yet.  Evidently, she was listening in on the conversation I was having with Danny but completely missed my gear change.

 

“Why you always yelling at Danny? Leave him alone! You’re not the only one who has a hard day you know.”  She kept talking, and the volume was increasing, and I really tried to tune her out but the moment was lost. Daniel slipped off my lap and picked up his shoes on the way to his room. Probably the only safe place in the house right now, and I was suddenly envious that he had the freedom to escape. A wise man would have just kept his mouth shut and weathered the storm, or maybe try to tell her she missed the conversation shift, but I was pissed that she spoiled my moment with my son and I gave back as good as I got.  The argument increased in volume by both of us, mostly with me telling her to shut her damn mouth and leave me alone and her telling me to shut my damn mouth and leave Daniel alone. We sometimes wonder why our kids get into those silly meaningless arguments. I now know where they get it from.  Admittedly, I said too much when I shouted back at her, “Bitch, I’ve had just about enough of you!” because anything in reach began to fly at my head. Retreat now being the wiser part of valor, I went off to the bedroom and changed into some clean clothes.

 

Inspired by the continuing verbal tirade and banging about in the kitchen, I grabbed my wallet and keys and headed to Daniel’s room. Thumping the door open with the palm of my hand I managed to startle him into jumping halfway across his room. I reached down and grabbed his shoes and, with a wink and smirk, told him to come with me. He followed behind me meekly, looking thoroughly confused, and back into the storm of words we walked. It felt good to walk toward the door, open it for my son, blow a kiss at my wife, and close it behind me in the middle of Sara’s harangue.  I could hear her blowing wind at me through that door and all the way to my car.

 

I threw Daniel’s shoes in the car and got in. Danny walked around to the passenger side and slid in as well, looking at me very worriedly. Then off we went. I was about 100 yards down the road then let out a very loud and frustrated yell as I slammed my hand into the steering wheel. I took a deep breath and looked over to my son. He was pressed into his door, looking at me very apprehensively. I smiled a sort of apologetic smile, a bit embarrassed at the shit show I just starred in.

 

 “I feel a bit better now. How are you doing?”

 

He gave a slight shrug and bit his bottom lip, “I guess I’ve been better.”

 

“Yeah. What do you say we make this a guy’s night out and give your mother some time to cool down? I think I got her a bit pissed.”  Daniel just looked up at me with that ‘ya think’ look. That kid does make me laugh - if I give myself permission for laughter that is, and he grinned at my guffaw. Doubting I would get any food out of Sara tonight, my first plan was dinner.  “Where do you want to eat tonight? Your pick.” Daniel doesn’t get a lot of restaurant meals, so this was a bit of an exciting turn of events. 

 

“Can we go to the Cappalzino’s at the mall?”

 

“Sure. I haven’t had one of their pizzas in a long time,” I said, smiling down at his suddenly smiling face. Cap’s has been in the area since I was a kid, and it was always a treat. We ordered a large pie, half with the works and half just cheese. What is it with kids and plain cheese pizza? While we waited, I told Daniel to find us a table he liked. We sat down, and I had my chance to talk to him about his reactions to me tonight.

 

“Danny, why is it that you seem to be so nervous around me?” He shrugged and looked down at the table.  I reached over to him and lifted his chin so he was looking me in the eye again. “Danny, what is it?”

 

“You always seem so mad all the time,” he gushed, then seemed embarrassed by his outburst.

 

I leaned back in my chair and looked at my boy, who I loved more than life itself, shrink down into his chair and stare at the table again as tears began to flow slowly down his soft cheeks. He was right. I have been a bastard lately. I stood up and walked over to his chair, picked him up, and sat down with him in my lap. I guess I should have done this somewhere else, and if he was less miserable he would have given me hell, but I hugged him into my chest as he cried his misery. I lost some water weight myself there.

 

“Yeah buddy”, I finally choked out, “I’ve been frustrated and angry about some things at work and such. I didn’t mean to take it out on you. To be honest, when I’m at work and things are going so rough, the only thing that I can think about is coming home to see you. I love you buddy, and I’m sorry I’ve been so rough on you. Can you ever forgive me?” 

 

He nodded into my chest and pulled me tight. After a couple of minutes, he looked up and into my eyes and gave me a hopeful smile. I wiped his eyes and nose for him, remembering him at a much younger age and wondering how much longer I would have the chance to do these types of things for him. Looking past my son I notice the pizza manager looking at me with a raised eyebrow and the pizza in his hand. I nodded and set Daniel down in another chair right next to me just as the pizza was delivered. The manager squeezed my shoulder as he walked away and winked. I guess he has had his own share of rough moments with his children.

 

My boy ate like he’d never been fed. Now well stuffed, I sent him into the arcade with $5 and told him to come back when he was out of money. I had just finished my soda when he returned, with a little blond boy in tow. 

 

“Dad, I sort of ran out of money, can I get some more?”

 

The arcade is probably more of a treat than even pizza. We don’t normally have the time to waste. I was out of fives, so found a ten in my wallet. As I gave it to him, I noticed his little companion staring at the leftover pizza like he was starving.

 

“Who’s your friend, Danny?”

 

“Oh, sorry Dad, this is Scott.”

 

Scott looked up at me with big eyes, and then slid behind my son a bit.

 

“Hello, Scott. It’s nice to meet you.”

 

The little boy grinned a bit, and then began to stare at the pizza again. 

 

“Would you like some pizza, Scott?”  Ok, that was obvious. The little boy nodded his head hard enough to hear the rattle and caused me to laugh a bit.  “Well, sit down and dig in. Danny, how about you run up to the counter and get Scott a drink, ok?”

 

Scott was already nearly through his first piece before I reached the end of that sentence. I had never seen someone eat so fast, and he ate with his eyes scanning the area like someone would come take his food.  Danny got back with a coke quite quickly, which was probably a good thing because Scott had nearly finished another slice already. He grinned around a mouth full of pizza at Danny when he received the coke, getting a laugh from both of us. 

 

“Scott, slow down now. You can eat all you want. No one is going to take it from you, ok?”

 

The little boy looked up at me with wide eyes and, gulping in a way that was absolutely comical on such a little boy, forced himself to eat slower and calm down.  Daniel pulled up a seat on my knee and we watched as that little boy devoured as much as both Daniel and I had managed together. So much for my plans for tomorrow’s lunch. After finally coming to the end of the pizza, Scott leaned back into his chair and let off a loud belch. Daniel, of course, thought that funny as all get-out and let one go himself. I decided to end this before things got too out of control, so giving Daniel the change from the coke I sent him and Scott into the arcade to have some fun as I got the mess on the table into a trash can. Twenty-five minutes later, the boys came out of the arcade grinning and laughing about their fun when out of no-where came this wiry, scruffy looking man who grabbed Scott by the arm, spinning him around quite forcefully.

 

“Damn-it boy, I told you to keep yourself in the car! What you think you doing, huh?”  And then to my absolute shock slapped the boy right above the ear, sending him into floor. I am ashamed. I just sat there, gob smacked. I guess we are so trained to mind our own business in this culture that despite the incredible actions of the man, I didn’t intervene. When he kicked him in the legs while he was down, though, I quickly walked over and stepped over Scott so he was between my feet.

 

“Mister, you hit that boy one more time and we are going to have trouble, you get me?”

 

The man stepped back as he sized me up. I’m not a very large man and have been working in offices for far too long. But I went to college on a baseball scholarship and some of those muscles remained. I followed the man as he moved back, clearing my feet perhaps just in time as the man put about three good punches right into my face before I could get my defenses up. I’d been hit before, but he had a punch that I would remember. Slipping his last punch, I brought my right fist into a quick arc aimed at his nose.  Getting a satisfying crunch, I landed a left hook to his ear and a follow-up right straight into that nose again. That put him on his ass. Frankly based on the way my night was going, that was quite an enjoyable sight.

 

“Fine!” he said around a slightly bloodied hand holding his nose. “You want that little bastard, take him!”

 

Then, with blood dripping, he lurched out through the exit doors and jumped into an absolutely beat to shit station wagon idling at the curb and roared off in a cloud of blue smoke. I looked down to see Danny with Scott pulled up into his lap protecting him from whatever might be coming next. The pizza manager came running with a towel and ice and behind him some, 40 yards, came two mall cops, with their typical Johnny-on-the-spot antics. Thankfully the pizza manager got them to realize that I was just protecting Scotty, so they put their handcuffs away and called the real cops on their radios. Another man was running towards us wearing an expensive sport-coat. He turned out to be a doctor and checked Scott out to be sure he was ok.  Pronouncing him healthy, he gave me his card and looked over my face and hands while we waited for the police to come. The police finally arrived and took statements from all involved before calling in CPS.  The harried looking social worker arrived nearly an hour later. We’ve had a lot of cutbacks in the local government departments due to the recession, so I could only wonder at the case load this poor woman carried. To make what is quickly showing itself to be a long story a bit shorter, the boy was listed as “abandoned” and “abused” and would be coming with the woman to the county juvenile detention center for lack of better options. Danny found out about that and had a fit.

 

“What?! Scott didn’t do anything wrong. Why are you going to send him to jail?”

 

The woman tiredly smiled down at my boy and tried to explain the reality of the current foster care system. Daniel just stared at the woman incredulously as she talked, then finally looked up at me.  “Dad do something. Don’t let Scott go to jail.” How do I refuse this kid something so selfless?

 

Sighing, I looked from the beautiful angry face of my son to the sad resigned one of a little boy who had seen more disappointment and disaster than anyone ever should.   “Ma’am, how do we do this? Can I take the boy until you can find something better for him?” 

 

Well, many hours later, after her supervisor came to the mall to speak with me and the police did a quick background check, and after killing six trees worth of paperwork, I was the temporary proud papa of a bouncing eight-year-old boy, and the hero to my eleven-year-old son. We were on our way home, at almost midnight, with a free pizza from Cappalzino’s and an appointment with the doctor for tomorrow for both of us (I had a shiner forming and there were concerns for ocular bone fractures). I also had a phone call that I dreaded to make.

 

 

“Hi, Honey, it’s me…” I started.

 

“Don’t you ‘hi honey’ me. Do you know what time it is? Where are you? What the hell, John? Did you forget Danny has school tomorrow?”

 

“I know, baby. I’m on my way home right now. It’s a long story and I would rather talk with you about it when I get home. Danny and I will both take tomorrow off. Please just make up Danny’s bunk bed. We have a young guest for a night or so. And, I think we had better put Danny in the top bunk. I should be home in roughly 20 minutes, depending on traffic. Ok?”  You know, for once, I didn’t get an argument. It shocked me.

 

“Okay,” she said. “But you have some explaining to do, mister.”  That made me laugh, as it was a line from a TV show back in the late ‘80s that Sara would quote now and again in a little girl voice. Mostly what it meant was that all was, temporarily, forgiven.  Temporarily, and providing I give adequate explanation. I looked down at my boy, my two boys now, and saw them both grinning up at me with pizza sauce dripping down their chins. Scott had been unwilling to get more than two inches from my hip since the end of the fight nor would he let Daniel get more than two inches from his other hip, so they were both crammed into the front passenger seat with the pizza box open and a considerable amount gone already. We arrived home in 15 minutes, but Sara was already at the front door waiting.

 

“Hi, Mom,” Daniel chirped loud enough to wake up most of the neighbors, as he ran towards her with the pizza box out in front of him.

 

“Hi, Danny,” Sara said, pulling the boy in for a big hug. “Who’s your friend?”

 

Scott had me by the hand as I walked up towards Sara and was pressed into my hip like he was glued to my jeans. I stopped just short of Sara and knelt, so I was at a level with the little boy.

 

“Sara, this is Scott. He’s going to be staying with us for a little while.” Sara was looking intently at Scott the entire time of the introduction. When she leaned forward to offer her hand, Scott let out a little mewling and turned into me, pulling himself up under my chest. Sara looked up at me with a worried expression.

 

“Scott has had a hard day, honey. I think he might be a bit more sociable after a good night’s sleep.”

 

“Oh, man, Ma! You should've seen Dad, it was awesome!”  Well if the neighbors weren’t already awake, they were now. Somehow, I didn’t quite mind though. Having your son call you awesome at the top of his lungs leaves neighborhood concerns way down the list. I shushed him in hopes of being polite but being a typical boy he either didn’t get it or didn’t want to shush. “Man, Dad, I know that guy’s nose is broke. And the way he went flying after that last punch, it was awesome!”

 

Yep, the neighbors were awake now, with lights coming on across the street and next door. But now, what I couldn’t accomplish with my shushing, Scott did as he was obviously now crying into my abdomen, so curled up into me that he was standing in a fetal position. Daniel now felt horrible for making Scott cry, but I would have a talk with him later. It seemed I had a lot of talking to do later, but that was later. I picked up Scott and carried him into the house where I could sit down in my lazy-boy and rock him a bit. Daniel and Sara just looked on wide-eyed until the silent torrent ebbed and I could peel Scott’s face from my now damp and pizza sauce smeared shirt and look him in the eye.

 

“You’re going to be ok, Scott. Ok?” he just nodded. I stood up with him, setting him on his feet. “Well, first thing, you need a bath. You have pizza sauce all across your face.”  I smiled down at him, taking as much sting from the words as I could. Frankly, the kid smelled like he hadn’t seen a tub in a long time and his clothes were a lost cause. Sara cooed, her mother instinct coming out in that statement.

 

“Well, how about I take care of that for you?” she asked, crouching down to her knees.  God bless her, but the poor boy just shook his head and spun right around behind me, burying his face in my hip pocket and gripping my jeans like they were his only lifeline. I saw the hurt on Sara’s face and knew there was little I could do about it.

 

“How about I help you with a bath, Scott?” Daniel asked.  Scott just sort of looked around my hip at Daniel, and then looked up at me with wide eyes. Playing the field marshal, I made my call.

 

“Ok, Daniel, you take Scott into the bathroom and get things started. I will come in shortly and see how you are doing. Questions?”  Both boys shook their heads, and then Daniel took Scott by the hand and headed off to his bathroom.

 

“John? What are you doing with this boy? What happened?” Sara pressed. I told her the whole story in as quick a fashion as I could, then promised I would tell her the rest and answer any questions later. I headed off to the bathroom to see what a mess the two boys had managed so far. I found both boys just getting into the tub. Scott’s clothing was in rougher shape than I first realized.  His little boy FTLs were brown and torn. Picking up his dirty pants, I saw they were a lost cause as well.  I pitched all his clothes into the trash can, then tied the liner into a knot and called my wife to pitch it in the trash. I then began to soap him from head to toe as Danny distracted him, slowly revealing very white skin with little red dots and numerous round scars roughly the size of a pencil eraser on his arms, legs, chest and back. Finding a flea, I pulled the drain and used the shower wand to rinse off both boys, then refilled the tub. In the closet was a bottle of Rid, leftover from Daniel’s last stay at camp.  I rewashed both boys quickly. Shampooed their hair, then climbed into the tub with them and turned on the shower to wash myself quickly. I used the “Rid” on all three of us, knowing that Danny and I were less likely to have real problems if a quick cleaning was done. Scott took all of this in stride, but Daniel’s eyes went very wide when I began to quickly wash him, including his genital area, then downright bug-eyed when I stripped and showered with the boys. I stepped out of the shower and dried, pitching the towel into a pile with our clothes. I then pulled Daniel out of the tub and rubbed his hair dry, searching for anything moving with a small comb. Sitting down, I pulled him close to check his beginning wispy pubes for anything bug related.  Moving his penis and balls around created the expected result, which didn’t go down when I lifted his arms and then turned him and bent him forward to check his bottom. I did find one unmoving bug by his anus, most likely placed there by the bath water. Brushing it over to where I could pick it off, I turned him back around and checked his front side much closer but found nothing more than a boner he was trying to hide. I rechecked his head and finding nothing again gave him a pat on the bottom and sent him to get clothes and his mother. Sara showed just a moment later and I sent her for the clippers. Being more considerate than normal for her, she only cracked the door and kept her face well back.

 

“Scotty, I noticed some flea bites on your skin, and found some lice. That sort of stuff happens some time, and that’s why this bath may have seemed a bit odd.” He just nodded his head slowly and looked embarrassed. “Buddy don’t worry. Stuff happens, okay?” Again, the shy nod. “Okay, well, what we are going to do next is check you over for more fleas and lice, then I’m going to give you a really close haircut and another shower. Okay?”

 

My examination of him went very similar to Daniel’s, but he was completely hairless, so it was a bit easier.  I did find he was a fully functioning boy when I checked his genital area, and I also found that his little bottom was bruised and feared he had been sexually abused. We both had tears in our eyes when I stood him back straight, but I went on like nothing happened. I clipped his hair down to peach fuzz, and then gave him another thorough shower. Drying him off he looked so sad and soon fell into my arms crying for all he was worth. I cried with him, and picked him up to carry him, us both crying and naked as on our birthdays, to Daniel’s room. Sara threw me a pair of shorts at a nod of my head and a pointed look toward my waist, then found some of Daniel’s old pajama’s for Scott. He allowed me to separate long enough to dress myself, and then put the PJ’s on him. Daniel was wide eyed the entire time, looking down and around from the top bunk as Scott climbed back into my lap and buried his head into my shoulder. I looked up at Sara as I rubbed his back. We both had tears in our eyes and poor Daniel just didn’t seem to know what to do with all the emotions he was feeling. He finally jumped down and ran to his mother, burying his head into her ribs and holding on tight as we all cried silently.

 

It was after 1:30 before Scott had fallen asleep and Sara had Daniel back into his top bunk. I tucked Scott into his bed and followed Sara out the door, leaving it open about six inches and leaving the hall light on to send light into the room. I went into the bathroom to find Sara at work stuffing our clothes and towels into a trash bag, including the bathroom rugs. She still had tears in her eyes, and I was no better. Pulling her up by her hands we cried in each other’s arms for all the pain that little boy knew and for all the pain that our family had experienced over the last while. It was after three before we had the bathroom clean and the clothes and bathroom stuff in a hot, bleach wash cycle. I found my wife standing in Daniel’s doorway, sort of hugging herself as she watched the boys. Daniel had left his bunk sometime in the night and joined Scott in the lower bunk. They were wrapped around each other and asleep, looking like the angels we know them to be. I hugged my wife from behind and whispered that we needed to get some sleep ourselves if we were to face what tomorrow would bring.

 

 

I slept in until 8:00, waking up with the alarm. I called my boss right away and let him know what had happened last night and that I would need to take some time off work, at least this day and maybe more. He began to give me shit about it, being a real prick in general, and I quickly realized his response was going to be a ‘no’. I told him I would call him back in a few moments, then called back into the company and spoke with the regional manager. I told him about the happenings of last night and how I intervened when I saw this little boy being abused. 

 

“Mr. Atkins, this kid doesn’t even have any clothes. The clothes he was wearing were so worn, dirty, and filled with vermin that we had to throw them out. I have real concerns that he has experienced greater abuse than just the physical that I witnessed and halted, and I really need enough time to get him to a doctor and buy him some clothes. Further, I will be meeting with the social worker, police, and well, I’m sure just a truckload of other things. Sir, I didn’t even get to bed until after 3:00 last night. I called and talked to Jim Wainright, who is my supervisor, and told him essentially what I have told you. He refused to allow me the time off. Mr. Atkins, could you have allowed this to happen to that little boy and still called yourself a man? I need your help, sir.”

 

Mr. Atkins listened to this all quietly.

 

“John,” he said after I had come to a quiet halt, “I am so proud that you work for our company. I am going to approve the time off that you need. Please come and see my secretary today and there will be a written approval waiting for you. Further, if there is anything I or the company can do, let me know. We all have a civic responsibility to our community, especially the littlest members of it, and I am proud that you have stepped forward to do this. As far as Wainright is concerned, I will speak with him in a few minutes. You just take care of that boy, and bring him around so that I can meet him, okay?”

 

“Yes sir, thank you,” I gushed, glad that I wouldn’t be quitting my job today.

 

At 9:00 I went in to wake the boys. They were still wrapped around each other with Scott’s head on Daniel’s chest, but Daniel was awake already. I smiled when I saw him stroking Scott’s nearly hairless head, outlining the large bruise from being hit yesterday with his finger. Daniel looked up at me with a sad look.

 

“He had a hard night, Dad. He woke me up three times with nightmares and crying.”  Danny went back to stroking the boys peach fuzz head, then looked up at me and mouthed silently, “He peed.”  I raised an eyebrow and bent to look down at the sheets and blankets. Yep, it was all wet. I stroked Scott’s back a couple of times and got down to where he could see my face.

 

“Scotty, it’s time to wake up.”  He groaned a bit, and then opened his eyes. I could see fear and confusion in them, and he jumped across the bed and pressed against the wall with his knees pulled up and wrapped up by his arms. I stayed where I was, getting down so he could see Daniel and me together. 

 

“Scott, do you remember me from last night at the mall and pizza?”  Slowly recognition returned, and he smiled at me and Daniel, only then noticing that he was wet. Scott looked down into his borrowed Scooby Doo pajamas and saw that he had wet the bed in his sleep. The poor boy looked up at me in such misery and sadness it near had me in tears again.

 

“It’s ok, stuff happens sometimes, ya know.”  I don’t know if it was shame, relief or whatever, but he began to cry again. Daniel reached out to him and pulled him into a hug, allowing the boy to hide his face and cry in dignity. I rubbed his back, and smiled down at my son, my loving son, who took this smelly wet kid into a hug when most kids would have probably squealed in disgust. After a few minutes I got both to agree to a shower, walking them into the bathroom and starting the water flowing. I gave Daniel a wink when both boys found they had to pee at the same moment. Daniel had an erection, that typical malady of males in the morning, and couldn’t get started. After hearing Scott pee like the proverbial racehorse and the running water of the shower, nature found a way, winning a sigh of relief from Daniel and a giggle from Scott. Both boys hit the shower and I let them know that I wanted everything washed thoroughly and that breakfast was waiting!  I then took their clothes to the laundry room with a smile and a wink to Sara as I passed the kitchen. She seemed happy, making French toast and sausage links by the ton. After a couple of minutes, I wandered back into the boy’s bathroom and looked around the shower curtain, wondering about what was taking so long. I found Daniel with a shocked expression on his face looking down at Scott, who was giving my boy what I would presume to be the first blowjob of his life. Daniel’s look of shock transformed into one of serenity as I looked on unnoticed by either boy. He slowly placed his hands on Scott’s head as nature took over, moving his hips forward and back. I decided to play ignorant and quietly left the bathroom, pulling the sheets and blankets from Scott’s bed. I heard Daniel give a barely controlled squeal and figured it was safe to return to see if the boys were ready for breakfast yet. Scott seemed chipper as I dried him and had him wait for me at the door. Daniel was clearly on cloud nine. I wiped him down with a towel, being careful around his sensitive post-orgasmic penis, and walked both boys into Daniel’s room to find clothes for the day.

 

Daniel made it to the breakfast table in a still enjoyably baffled state. The two boys managed to do a good number on the mounds of food that Sara had prepared, giving us both a startling revelation that if we didn’t snag some we would be without quite soon. As the momentum slowed down and the kids leaned away from their plates to contemplate a full belly, I let both know their day’s schedule, that being Daniel would be going to school at 11:00 and Scott and I had an appointment with Daniel’s pediatrician at 10:00. After that, I needed to see the Social Worker and get Scott signed up for school. Finally, I would take him to get some clothing and visit the Regional Manager and let him meet this little angel. I would let Sara have the fun of getting the boy a better wardrobe once he was a bit more comfortable with her. I was still baffled by his fear of Sara. There was something in his past that I didn’t know if I wanted to be made clearer or not. Ignorance may not be bliss but sometimes grownups can have nightmares too. Neither boy seemed appreciative of leaving the other, but there was no way Daniel was going to be missing a full day of school, and I think he knew that.

 

I arrived at the pediatrician’s office 20 minutes early, knowing that I would need to fill out more paperwork than on a normal visit. I also wanted to call the Social Worker from the pediatrician’s office and be sure that the Dr. and the SW were on the same page. I don’t know if this is the correct procedure, and told the receptionist so, but it seemed a fair precaution. She agreed.

 

Dr. Wembly is probably best described as fuzzy. He is a good impersonation of Albert Einstein, with a fuzzy white mustache and eyebrows, though perhaps just a bit better hairdo than Albert sported. He read over Scott’s paperwork, which included my notations about how Scott came to be in my care, the lice and fleas, what I did about them, his bed wetting, which I stated that I believed may be temporary, and my concerns over his other various abuses based on his fear of Sara and his anal bruising. Scott was, of course, in my lap and gripping my shirt like a hurricane was on the way to blow him away. After a very sad look up to me, Dr. Wembly got down on the floor and began speaking to Scott, not to me, but to Scott. I was impressed. In the end, after Scott had loosened up a bit, Dr. Wembly was able to do a very sensitive but thorough exam that still left my little angel shaking. Dr. Wembly told me, through Scott, that he would need to send the blood and urine sample out for testing “to make sure that Scotty wasn’t a werewolf or an alien in disguise”, which got the intended giggle, and that we would need to meet again in a couple of days.  Complete with sucker firmly lodged in his mouth, Scott required me to carry him out as he refused to let go of my neck and had wrapped his legs around my waist. Dr. Wembly escorted us to the receptionist, chatting amiably the entire way. Once there, she took over scheduling another test while he wrote a note to me on a business card, telling me that I should call him at home tonight after the boys were asleep and that he would be calling the Social Worker as soon as I left. Shaking my hand, he went into his office with a sideward and a weary look to the receptionist that he would need roughly 15 minutes.

 

Our stop at the Social Worker went well. I was confirmed as temporary guardian, along with a stipend for clothing and food. His medical care would be picked up by the state, and there was some argument there that I would prefer to send him to Dr. Wembly, rather than to the County Hospital, so he would see the same doctor each time. The SW had received Dr. W’s phone call and faxed medical, along with the information I had filled out, so was pleased with the steps I had taken so far. I guess that greased the skids a bit and she was willing to go a bit further to make everything work. I let her know which school I would be enrolling Scott and where I would be going to get some clothing for him. She called the school as I sat there and let them know that I would be by and to call her if there were any problems, then called the clothing store manager to make sure that he was able to help us personally. Somehow, I didn’t think this was all standard operating procedure for her office, and she sent us on our way with a tired smile and a wink.

 

Our stops at the school and clothing store went well. The manager was able to fit Scott without scaring him to death, giving him personal attention without hovering. We had no problem with sizes, as he seemed to be able to tell Scott’s measurements simply from a quick look. While Scotty was admiring his new look in the mirror, the manager pulled me off to the side and told me to expect a lot of growth due to his past abuse, so his choices in sizes and styles were in line with that expectation.  Scott was awe struck by his new clothes, and I laughed with him and told him he was “very handsome” as I quietly realized these were probably the first new clothes he’s known in a very long time. 

 

Looking across the street to see our cell phone carrier’s store, I made a quick decision to buy each of the boys a child-friendly phone. I had just became aware of these phones. They look very similar to regular cell phones, but the keypad is in fact a list of pre-assigned speed dials. I had our home phone, the cell phones numbers for both my phone and my wife’s, along with the other boy’s cell number, and finally 911. The salesman told me I could come back to add up to 4 more numbers, which I thought the boys may want to have some say in who those would be programmed to call. The phone also came with a clip to secure the phone to a belt or school bag to help with loss prevention. More to my liking, the automatic locator would send a GPS map to my or my wife’s phone with a very accurate red location dot upon calling a certain number. These were not budget friendly but seemed very worth the expense.

 

The school principal was very happy to meet Scott, of course, and would be ready to have him begin classes on Monday, with the teachers given quiet notification that he was a special case and to ease him into things slowly and not let him get over his head with the other children. The elementary school was roughly 100 yards from the middle school, where Daniel would be attending. The Principal and I were able to show Scott around the school, including a quick visit to his classroom to meet his teacher. Scott was very nervous, but a happy nervous. Though he stayed very tight to my side, he was all smiles. I just wish that my visit to work went half so well.

 

Entering through the front doors was a new experience for me, as most of us entered off the employee parking lot. Mr. Atkins secretary, having gotten the whole story from her boss I guessed, fussed over Scott a bit. He was buried into my shoulder, of course, but that was ‘just so cuuuute.’ I felt Scott stiffen into me a bit when, looking over my shoulder, he saw my supervisor, Mr. Wainright, glaring at me from the doorway.  When I turned to look at what had Scott so uptight, I found the man nearly purple.

 

“Who the hell do you think you are, going over my head to Atkins!” Wainright growled at me.

 

I felt Scott begin to tremble and said in the calmest voice I could, “Mr. Wainright, this is not a good time.  Perhaps I could call you tonight from home or we could talk next week and…”

 

 I got cut off, of course.

 

“I will talk to you when and where I damn well please. This is ridiculous! The department is behind and you want to take time off for some little brat you found in the mall…!”

 

I cut him off this time. Scotty was shaking like a leaf at this point and I was not willing to put him through much more of this.

 

“Again, Mr. Wainright, this is really not a good time for this. Scott here isn’t feeling the best, so maybe we….”

 

Again, cut off.

 

“I told you, I will speak when I choose, not you!” he yelled.

 

At this, Scott lost his bladder control. I looked up at Wainwright’s somewhat shocked look and saw just how much he seemed to be getting off on scaring the boy. I set Scotty on his feet nearer to the receptionist, who was on the phone and looking at the two of us in horror and turned back to Wainright.

 

“Sir, enough!” I said forcefully, but quietly.

 

Wainright guffawed.

 

“You went over my head for this sniveling puddle of wastewater? What the h…”

 

Well, that was when I hit him. I hit him hard, as hard as I could, dead in the nose. Give the asshole credit, he could take a punch. He was in the process of picking himself up off the floor when Mr. Atkins’ voice stopped everything in the room.

 

“Wainright, in my office now!”

 

Wainright walked into the office, holding a hand over his nose and glaring knives at me. Well, I guess that did it. I was surely fired now. I wonder if Mr. Atkins would allow me to quit and leave on a good note. I reached down and felt Scott, shaking down on the floor by the desk, grab my hand and slide up behind me.

 

“John, can I presume that shadow behind you is your new son? If you could stick around just a bit, I would really like to meet him and have a talk with both of you.” Scott had wrapped his arms around my leg now that things had settled, with his face pressed into my hip.

 

“Yes sir, it is. If we could, I would like a couple of minutes to get him changed out and feeling a bit better…”  Mr. Atkins waived that away.

 

“Take your time. Connie will let me know when you have returned.” 

 

With a smile at that, he turned back to his office. Connie handed me an actual towel, evidently from her gym bag as she was going to use the office gym after work and had her supplies tucked under her desk. I wrapped the towel around Scotty’s waist and carried him back to the car to get his new clothes. Good thing we went shopping when we did.

 

It took about twenty minutes, including two trips to the car and time spent in the bathroom. I arrived to find Connie grinning and typing away, a small dish of candy on her desk that she offered to Scott after waving us to a chair. A quick call to Mr. Atkins and Scott and I entered the inner sanctum of the most powerful man in the company, at least in this district.

 

“John, thank you for coming back so soon.” Mr. Atkins called out cheerfully, rising to meet me halfway with his hand out. “And, Scott, I am so sorry Mr. Wainright got so loud. Please know that was totally unacceptable and you and your new dad will not have to worry about that again.”

 

“Mr. Atkins, I...”

 

“Call me David, at least for this conversation,” he interrupted, with a smile.

 

“Yes sir, uh, David. Um, please let me apologize for my behavior out there…”

 

“John, I heard a fair portion of that over the intercom when Connie realized that Wainright was in the doorway.  He was very displeased that you had called me and wanted to fire you for the breach. I informed him that I understood your need for the day off and hoped he would understand your predicament. Connie typed up my notes on that conversation, so was fully aware of the situation. Further, I heard you tell him that now was not a good time, and of course I understand you saying that. I also heard his responses.  So, while I do not condone fighting in the workplace, I do understand. Unfortunately, there will be some consequences from this.” I was heartbroken hearing that last sentence.

 

“Yes sir. I understand. Mr. Atkins, if it would at all be possible, could you allow me to resign rather than fire me?”

       

“John, you will not need to resign. True, you will be removed from your position in Wainright’s section, and I will be docking two day’s pay. Specifically, today and Monday. As I said, I do not condone fighting.  On Tuesday, at 8:00 sharp, you will begin a new position in the company, that of Wainright’s. He will be moving on to, um… other areas of interest. Oh, of course, you will need to show that you can handle his duties, so a trial period is appropriate. But I believe you will do just fine,” he smiled patiently at my slack-jawed shock.

 

“Sir! Thank you!” Mr. Atkins just waved that away with a grin.

 

“Well, now that all of that is out of the way, how about you introduce me to this little man.”  We stayed a full two hours during which Scott was primary in the conversation. He soon grew accustomed to Mr. Atkins and before the day was over was sitting in his lap playing solitaire on the computer. We left with Scott giving Mr. Atkins a quick hug and a kiss, then running back to leap into my arms for the ride out to the car. We arrived back home just in time for dinner, with a lot of stories for Sara and Daniel. Sara nearly panicked when I told her of the punch and how I would lose two days’ pay, but a grinning Scott gave away that there was more to the story and she whooped when I told her that I was given the supervisor position, effective Tuesday. Being a one income family, with Sara getting only occasional part time work, we really couldn’t afford two days off work unpaid, but the new position will surely compensate.

 

After dinner we watched a Disney style movie that Daniel had seen several times. Scott, on the other hand, was mesmerized. I don’t know if he had ever seen such a thing. I sent the boys to brush their teeth and get ready for bed after the movie while I relaxed into the paper. As is normal, Sara put Daniel to bed with a kiss and a tuck of the covers, but Scott wouldn’t come near her. He hid in the bathroom.  Sara came to the living room with tears in her eyes and told me that I would have to help Scott as he wouldn’t have anything to do with her. I found him in the bathroom, curled into a corner. He launched himself into my arms and tried to apologize. I told him that there was no apology needed but if he wanted, we could talk to Sara and he could tell her. He gripped me tightly but nodded.

 

I walked out to find Sara on the front stoop. When we stepped out, she turned towards us and Scott could now see the cigarette in her hand. Sara doesn’t smoke often, a pack lasting her three days or more. Usually, she will have a couple at night on the front stoop, or if she is very stressed a couple throughout the day. She was a two-pack-a-day smoker before becoming pregnant with Daniel but quit knowing the damage it can do to the baby. I saw nothing unusual about this, but Scotty screamed bloody murder. He clamped on to me screaming and thoroughly wet us both.

 

“I sorry. I sorry. I be good. I sorry, I be good. I be good, I be good, I be good, I be good, I sorry, I be good….”

 

Suddenly, the penny dropped, and I understood the round scars. Poor Sara felt that same penny, but much harder. She threw that cigarette away like it was a snake and stood there with tears pouring from her eyes and a horrified expression on her face. Daniel came running outside in his tighty-whiteys to hear what Scotty was screaming about, looking at us both like we had been beating on the poor boy. By the lights coming on, I knew that we would have more to speak with the neighbors when the opportunity came. We reentered the house sitting on the couch, with Daniel and I telling Scott he’s a good boy and he did nothing wrong. Sara just stood in the doorway looking lost and hugging herself. In time, I was able to ask Scotty if he was afraid of Sara because a lady burned him with cigarettes. Daniel gasped and looked up to me horrified. Head buried into my shoulder Scott nodded almost imperceptibly.

 

“Oh. No, Scott. I’m sooo sorry. But Mom would never do that. Mom’s never hurt me. She would never…. Mom tell him!”

 

At that, Daniel looked up to see the effect this was having on his mother and burst into tears. Running to her, they both wailed in each other’s arms as Scott shook in mine. Sara and I looked at each other across the living room with tears running down our faces, each rocking a boy and wondering at the cruelty in this world.  Soon Scotty was asleep, and Daniel was nearly out as well. I carried Scott into the boy’s bedroom, changed him and wiped him down with the warm washcloth Sara gave Daniel, and then put him to bed. Daniel climbed in with him, both quickly wrapped in each other’s arms, with Sara and I standing in the doorway looking on in our own hug. Closing the door, I changed clothes and then Sara and I walked out to sit on the front stoop and cry where the boys wouldn’t hear.

 

Sure enough, Bob and Alice from across the street soon joined us. We’ve been friends for years, both moving into the neighborhood and needing friends at about the same time. Bob and Alice had two boys roughly 10 and 12, so knew some of what had happened when Daniel told the older boy at school about his dad ‘knocking the shit out of some asshole’, the phrase he used and was quoted to Bob. The women moved off to the kitchen while Bob and I settled into the front stoop with a beer and I told him all about Scotty’s story and ended with what happened tonight. Bob listened to it all, a tear in his eye at the end. It was a bit disconcerting to see that huge bear of a man with a tear. He excused himself and went into the kitchen to hug Sara, bringing about another round of crying from her. It was probably the best thing he could have done, and I loved him for it.

 

When Bob returned, I asked him if he would wait a bit as I called Dr. Wembly. I told him that I had intended to call roughly an hour and a half earlier, but…. I called Dr. Wembly and told him about what had happened today at work and here at home. I broke down crying a bit as I told him about his losing bladder control and crying so much, and Bob gripped my shoulder until I could calm down again. Dr. Wembly, sounding very hoarse himself, told me that my fears about Scott were well founded, that he had been sodomized and quite frequently. He recognized the round scars right away as cigarette burns and had intended telling me about that when I called. He also told me that he was able to rule out any of the lower-class STD’s and was waiting on the lab for the others. He believed Scott was probably only a short time away from an acceleration in abuse ending in death, which took my breath from me. “But, the good news is that he is crying.  I would be more concerned if he was detached emotionally from what was happening”.  I thanked him, apologizing again for calling so late, and hung up the phone. I told Bob quietly what I had been told and he grabbed my hand as we both cried again. Shortly thereafter Bob and Alice went home.  Bob said he needed to go hug his boys and let them know he loved them, with Alice nodding as tears still streamed from her eyes.

 

Sara and I locked up the house and prepared for bed. We were both exhausted by the night’s drama and needed to find some comfort in each other’s arms. I looked in on the boys and found them still asleep. With Scott using Daniels left shoulder as a pillow. If I didn’t know the pain that needed relieving so desperately, which resulted in using my son as a life-sized teddy bear, I would have thought it just cute.

 

Sara was up before us all and had breakfast well on its way before I realized that the other half of my bed was cold and empty. I stumbled bleary-eyed into the kitchen for coffee and felt my whole spirit lift to the aroma of eggs and bacon. Sara gave me a quick happy kiss, something I rarely receive anymore, complained of morning breath and sent me to get the boys up for breakfast.

 

I opened the door to the boy’s bedroom and found Daniel in much the same position as yesterday with Scott still nearly laying on top of him and using his chest now as a pillow. Daniel had smelled breakfast and was ready to get up, but Scott was still asleep. I found Daniel with a very worried expression on his face as he watched Scott sleep, then heard a soft voice whispering, ‘I be good I be good I be good I be good’.  I came over to the bed as Scott writhed in his sleep saying those words over and over. I was just reaching for him to wake him out of his dream when he screamed a piercing anguished scream and thrashed himself awake.  He looked up at Daniel for a couple of seconds then began to cry.

 

“Don’t worry Scott. You’re ok now. I’m here and Dad is here too. You just had a really bad nightmare.  Shhh.” Daniel cooed to him.

 

“Daniel, Scott. Breakfast is ready. Are you boys ready to get up?” I asked, coming over and rubbing Daniel’s hair and Scott on his back. Scott turned to me and leaped into my arms, holding me very tight. I noticed no wet spot, which surprised me. That was some nightmare. Getting his tears in control, I sent both boys to the bathroom to pee and wash their face and hands for breakfast, telling them I would meet them at the kitchen table.

 

Both boys ran into the kitchen moments later, with Scott in the lead and giggling at something about Daniel and peeing when he saw Sara and came to a full stop, then backed into Daniel. Sara was standing next to the trash can with a pack of cigarettes and her lighter. 

 

“Scott, I’m sorry I scared you last night, and I know that I startled you just a bit right now. But I wanted you to see this, maybe even do this yourself if you want to. I’ve decided to quit smoking today. Would you like to help me throw these away?”

 

Daniel hugged Scott from behind and whispered in his ear encouragements, then either walked with him or walked him towards Sara. Scott still looked like stone, wide-eyed stone to be sure, but held no other expression. Daniel reached down and lifted Scott’s hands, in which Sara dutifully put the cigarettes in one hand and the lighter in the other. I saw a tear begin to form in Scott’s eyes and Daniel walked him to the trash can. Scott began to liven up a bit looking into the trash can. Inside was every ash tray we owned, two tumblers with tobacco company names on them, a t-shirt with a cartoon camel, and two other packs of cigarettes. Scott upended his own addition to the mess with a sparkle in his eye then turned to hug Daniel.  Sara and I were holding each other watching this all play out.

 

“See. I told you she would never do anything to hurt you,” Daniel whispered in his ear.

 

Thus entered perhaps the happiest days of my life. I found my coworkers quite pleased to be now working under my supervision and in less than a week our department was caught up and working very well. But, as most idyllic times go, this one came to a rough end beginning with a misplaced cell phone.

 

Dead in the middle of a meeting with Mr. Atkins, my cell phone goes off. I normally have it set only to vibrate, so was a bit surprised. Mr. Atkins laughed as I realized it wasn’t even my phone, but my wife’s look-alike, and tossed it into my briefcase and closed the lid to muffle the ringing. I shrugged sheepishly and apologized for the interruption. After the meeting, which was only about 5 minutes later, I listened to the voice mail and felt my world crumble.

 

“Sara, Sara, Sara, I am so hot for you. Call me. I’ve got time after 11:00 to make you scream my name.”

 

My happy world ended. Three sentences I wasn’t meant to hear, and I knew I would miss these last 10 days of happiness forever. I decided to go home for lunch. I wondered if I might catch them in the process, then hoped I would not. Walking into the house, Sara looked very surprised to see me. I smiled sadly and gave her the phone, telling her that she had mine. We traded and I went back out the door, leaning back in to let her know that she had a voice mail at 10:08 that sounded very important to her. I didn’t look back.

 

I was back at work struggling to do more than just go through the motions when the emergency tone went through my phone. It was Daniel breathlessly yelling something about Scott at school. I ran out the building with a quick yell to the receptionist that I had my cell and raced to the school. I was heading to the office when I saw down the hallway Scott on the floor curled into a ball and heard Daniel screaming in a classroom nearby. The principal was running out of his office as I saw this and we both raced down to the classroom.

 

“What, you assholes really think this is funny! Get off me bitch! You are all stupid and you, you dumb cow, stink. If any of you ever laugh at my brother or be mean to him again I will…” 

 

That, thankfully, is when the principal burst into the room ending Daniel’s threat. I had stopped and scooped up a nearly comatose Scott, finding him uninjured but unresponsive, muttering quietly, ‘I be good, I be good, I be good, I be good, I sorry, I be good’. He had wet himself and was lying in a small puddle. The principal pulled a nearly purple Daniel out of the classroom, fists clenched and growling in barely controlled rage. He had angry tears running down his face when he looked up at me with Scott in my arms. 

 

“It ain’t right, Dad! They ain’t gonna do that to my brother again! That dumb bitch is gonna pay! It ain’t right…!”

 

I pulled him into me with my free arm and we three held each other right there in the hallway, other class teachers looking on in concern. The Principal returned to the classroom finding that I had everything in hand and returned moments later with a large woman in tow and speaking into a handheld two-way.

 

“Okay, well, get Stephanie from the gym and have her get over here immediately! I will remain at the door for now, but I want her here quickly!”

 

“Already called her. She’s coming in behind you through the back doors now. She was over at the middle school,” the secretary responded from the end of the hall.

 

“Hi, Steph. I need you to babysit for the afternoon. As you can see, we seem to have a bit of a problem here. Please see me before you leave today, okay?”

 

Whoever this Stephanie was, she slipped into the classroom with nothing more than a nod and sternly got the class back into control, which wasn’t too difficult as most were still sitting awe-struck and slack-jawed at the commotion Daniel caused.

 

“Daniel, can you take your dad to the boy’s locker room and show him where the coach puts the warm-up pants and such, help your brother get cleaned up, and then (looking up to me) could you both come back to the office and see me?” 

 

Daniel, having lost most of his rage but still obviously very angry, nodded and, with a glare at the large woman, took my arm and walked me to the gym. I don’t quite know what had happened that he was in such a rage, but I was beginning to feel a bit of it myself. We found a well-stocked gym office with a janitor waiting. He had towels and a basketball uniform set out, complete with shirt, shorts and warm-up pants, and a shower running in the shower room. I smiled my thanks to his nod and he left us to clean up Scott.

 

“Dad, that bitch…”

 

“Danny! Respect...”

 

“Dad, Scott called me and all I heard was him say ‘Danny, help…’ I heard that lady tell him… ‘What’s a baby like you doing with a cell phone?’ And then I heard Scott say ‘Danny…’ before I heard a bang and her voice yelling at him to give her the phone. I called you as I left my classroom. Dad, when I got into the school, I saw her holding Scott up by one arm and she, like, threw him into the hallway and told him to go to the office and have his diaper changed and went back into the classroom. I had to pick him up off the floor Dad. She just threw him out like the trash. Everyone was laughing, even her! He just laid there, Dad, mumbling that ‘I be good I be good’ thing and everyone in the classroom was laughing. Dad, she was laughing at him!”

 

At that, I was in a rage myself and Daniel was crying helplessly, wringing his hands and shrugging again and again with emotions he had no ability to handle.

 

We got ourselves squared away. I finally had to just strip and take Scott into the shower with everything but his shoes. As I stripped him, Daniel put his clothes into a large plastic trash bag. My suit coat joined the pile, as it was a general loss. Scott was looking better but still not very responsive when we made our way to the office. That very kind janitor was waiting for me just outside the locker room, a walkie-talkie in his hand.

 

“They are waiting for you in the office. If you will give me your keys, I will move your car to a parking place,” he took the bag from my hand with a smile. “I’ll put this in your trunk, then return your keys to the secretary,” he said, motioning us towards the office.

 

Inside the office I found the secretary typing madly while talking on the phone. I could never understand how some people could do so many things at the same time like that, must be a woman thing. She stopped what she was doing as I walked into the office, excused herself on the phone, and knocked on the door to the principal’s office and waved us in, rubbing Daniel on the head as he passed. I heard her quietly tell him to come see her when he had the opportunity.

 

Entering the principal’s office, I heard the teacher finishing her rendition of the events prior.  “…and frankly, this just isn’t the environment for special needs children. I don’t know if you are aware of his needs, but it quickly became clear that he was unable to operate in a normal classroom with normal children.”

 

Scotty was nearly choking the life out of me hearing her speak like that, and Daniel’s fists were clenched and staring daggers at the lady. I think the roller coaster that I had been on today had me exhausted, because I found myself just staring with my jaw hanging. Principal Stewart took that opportunity to welcome me into his office and ask me to take a seat.

 

“Perhaps you would like to tell Scotty’s father what you observed in the classroom today Miss Shiplitts?”

 

“Well, it’s like I was telling Principal Stewart, I found young Scotty completely zoned out. He was staring at the floor with glazed eyes and not paying attention to the course discussion at all. I walked up to his desk and tried to get his attention, but he just pulled back and wouldn’t look up at me. I slammed my hand down on his desk to force his attention on me and raised my voice in a commanding tone and told him under no uncertain circumstances to pay attention! Well, he just sunk into his chair and simply refused to even look up at me. I heard him mumbling something, and when I told him to speak up, I heard him saying that he would be good. I told him he darn well better, or I would be back with a ruler to tan those knuckles. Then, of all things, the boy pulls out a cell phone. Now, I don’t allow that sort of stuff in my classrooms, texting and calling all over tarnation when the child should be paying attention. I demanded he turn over his cell.  He of course mumbled something. He’s a mumbler, don’t you know.  I had to forcibly confiscate the cell phone. It was just a toy. It didn’t even have a normal digit pad. Well, of course, that was when he wet himself. Really, Principal Stewart, you should have told me that this boy was unable to control his bladder…I mean, ‘be easy on Scotty, he’s having trouble’ really is not sufficient information.  Nonetheless, this had the other children laughing, completely disrupting the classroom. I took a hold of his arm and put him outside of the classroom, but he would barely walk, and frankly was stinking up my classroom. I told him to go see the nurse and went back to restore order as the children were making a real racket, then in comes this older boy. I don’t even know who you are, and why you are in this school, you are way too old. Well, it doesn’t matter. The Principal will deal with you. So, in comes this here older boy and you should have heard the disrespect he was spewing at me and the other children. He even called me Miss Shitlips in front of the whole class and I believe you heard him threaten me. Well, the other children heard, I’m sure that there are witnesses if you need. That’s punishable by expulsion, you know!”

 

Thankfully, the principal stopped Miss Shiplitts at that moment. I was having trouble controlling Daniel, but because I was focusing on him I was still in control of myself, but that was surely the only reason. Poor Scott was nearly catatonic.

 

“Well, thank you for such a complete description. To give you just a bit of understanding, the older boy is in fact Scotty’s brother. The ‘toy’ cell phone is in fact an emergency phone that is designed to call only certain numbers, specifically his mother, father, brother, or police. Scotty was sufficiently upset by you to use an emergency call to his brother. Miss Shiplitts, by your own description of the events, you were threatening and abusive and are as of now fired! You will no longer be working in this school district, and I will be emailing the other school districts notifying them of your behavior and my decision to fire you! You may appeal this decision to the school board, which meets on Tuesday evenings.”

 

At that moment, the secretary entered the office with three pieces of typed paper and handed them to the principal. 

 

“Thank you, Cheri. Now, Miss Shitlips, uh, I’m sorry, Miss Shiplitts, here is your copy of that decision.  Your belongings have been collected and are in the front office.  You will leave now.  Cheri, please escort her to the door.  No, I don’t want to hear it, Miss Shiplitts, you are fired!”

 

“Yeah!” Daniel cheered, getting a little smile from Principal Stewart.

 

“Well, I never…!” Miss Shiplitts had the nerve to utter.

 

I was so mad, I just glared fire at the bitch as she stood and left, a copy of her dismissal in her chunky little fist. Unfortunately, I got a whiff of her stench as she did so, but it did give me a bit of a better understanding of Scott’s behavior. It was old sweat and cigarettes. 

 

Principal Stewart came around the desk and got down on his knees in front of Scott’s face.  “Scotty, I am very sorry that Miss Shiplitts was so mean. I should have watched over her better. I made a real mistake here and I hope you can forgive me. I definitely learned a little today. I hope you will come back tomorrow and give us all a better chance. I saw how wonderfully you have been doing, and I would be so honored if you would continue to come to our school. What do you think?  Can you forgive me?”

 

Scott looked up at me. I smiled down to him, this little angel curled up on my lap with his thumb stuck in his mouth. I nodded, trying to be supportive, positive. Scott looked back to Principal Stewart and nodded slowly.

 

“Good. Thank you.  Now, I need to go have a chat with your class and get them back on the right track.”

 

We arrived home to find it empty. I don’t just mean that Sara wasn’t there, I mean that much of the furnishings weren’t there. Daniel was horrified, of course, believing we had been broken into. I had other suspicions but called the police anyway. Daniel was running room to room, listing off what was missing; the TV, couch, Sara’s chair, some dishes, and the pantry was low, and the kitchen radio was gone. When Daniel came out of my room walking very slowly, tears running down his face, I feared he had finally put the pieces together. “Dad, your bed is gone and so’s Mom’s dresser and all of her clothes.” Right about then there was a knock on the door, and I opened it to find two of our local best.

 

“Hello officers, please come in. I’d offer you a chair, but…” I said to them, trying to find some degree of dignity.

 

The officer looked around the room and gave a sympathetic smirk.  It was then that I recognized them from the mall incident and quickly reminded the two men. Oddly, they knew me right off. How these two could recall my name in the bustle of their lives was beyond me, but they were glad to see Scott and Daniel. The older of the two men took me on a tour of the house, asking about what was missing while the other kept the boys busy. He quickly noticed that most of the items gone were my wife’s things.

 

“Sir, is there something I should know about?” the officer asked.

 

I told him about the phone call I got today.  “I’m really trying not to jump to any conclusions, Officer Lawickie, I just really don’t know what to do right now. I feel a bit empty, like this emotional rollercoaster of a day has finally gotten to the point where I’ve puked all thought and emotion. I am very tired, and I don’t even have a bed to take a nap in. God, I can’t believe she left me, left us!” I said, leaning against the door frame to my room and hanging my head.

 

“Well, sir, I can understand that. Based on what you have told me, I am going to assume that this is not a robbery or abduction, but most probably a domestic issue. What I can do is list this as an open investigation. I will ask the detectives to triangulate your wife’s phone signal and verify that she is alive and okay. I can’t tell you where she is, but I will get back with you as soon as I can.”

 

“Please do and thank you Officer Lawickie. I really don’t know whether I should be worried, hurt, or pissed.  I think I’m all that and more, but like I said, it’s been one of those days where I’ve had just a bit too much, ya know?”

 

Officer Lawickie shook my hand and collected his partner on the way to the door. I followed him as far as the boys and pulled them to me for a hug. We all needed it.

 

“Ok, guys, let’s go get some dinner and wrap this day up, huh?”

 

“Yeah,” Daniel said slowly, still looking around at the emptiness.

 

Scotty was just wide eyed, looking back and forth between Daniel and me. We had a very quiet meal at McDonald’s, all of us absorbed in our own thoughts. About mid-way through my fries, now having gone cold and tasteless due to my mind being on everything but my food, I looked over to Daniel and saw silent tears flowing unabated. I pulled him into my lap, and with his head buried into my neck he quietly cried his little breaking heart out. Scotty, unable to fully comprehend what was going on, hugged his big brother’s back.

 

Arriving back home to find Officer Lawickie waiting for us was unexpected. I invited the man in and sent the boys off for their baths so the adults could talk. 

 

“Well, we found her. She was in the company of two adult men and told me that she was where she wanted to be. I’m sorry but somewhat relieved to tell you that this looks like she has left you,” said the officer, with concern apparent in his eyes.

 

“No, she has abandoned us,” I bitterly corrected.

 

Unfortunately, little ears hear such all too well and Daniel came out into the living room wet and bare to the world and screaming.

 

“NO!”

 

“Daniel, calm down buddy. We…” I started but was interrupted.

 

“NO! NO! My Mom did not leave me. No! You have to go save her! She would never just leave me.  NoNoNoNONONONONONONOOOOO,” he screamed louder and louder. 

 

I ran to him and picked him up. He continued to scream, beating on my chest and face, screeching out his horror and pain.

 

“Dad, make him go back! Make him go save her! She wouldn’t just leave us like this. Make him go back!  Make him go back! Make him go back…ah, God, make him go back…,” he whimpered at the end, his head on my shoulder heaving breath in and out. “Make him go back, Dad. Pleeeease!”

 

Officer Lawickie joined us on the floor, cradling Daniel’s face in both hands. “I talked to her myself son.”

 

“She must not have understood. She must have been mistaken!” Daniel whined quietly to the officer.

 

“No son. I asked her very clearly. She understood the questions and answered very clearly and without fear.  I’m sorry.”

 

Saying this, the officer reached out and squeezed my shoulder, then left Daniel and I to deal with these overpowering emotions of loss and abandonment.

 

We all went to sleep in the boy’s room that night. I slept on the floor, directly under the bed so Daniel could hang his arm off the bed and feel me there all night. Scotty slept snuggled into Daniel’s back, giving whatever support he could. Morning came way too early. I decided we needed the distraction of school and work, but let my office know that I would be late and scheduled a meeting with Mr. Atkins for 10:00am. Our first stop that morning was to Daniel’s school. I spoke with one of the counselor’s there to let them know that Daniel had a difficult night and that he may need some extra care for the next few weeks while this works through his system. The counselor agreed to speak with his teachers and gave me a card for her friend who works with families. Seemed like a great idea. My next trip was to the elementary school which Scott was very nervous about. We entered the office hearing the secretary talking to us on the phone, well, talking to my answering machine. “...oh, never mind, you’re here in front of me,” she smiled, hanging up the phone.

 

She could see I was tired, I imagine, and Scott was pressed so tightly into my hip that I couldn’t wonder if he would have pocket-shaped creases on his cheek for the rest of the day.

 

“Principal Stewart was concerned that you wouldn’t be here today. Let me get him for you.” Saying that, she quickly entered his office only to return a second later waving us in. The principal was coming around his desk as we entered, shrugging his jacket on in the process.

 

“Welcome back. I’m so glad you have returned with us Scotty. I know yesterday was rough. We are going to have a good day today or I’m gonna be kicking some butt. How’s that!” he said with a grin.

 

“Okay, but is Miss Shitlips still here?” Scott whispered from my right hip pocket.

 

“No, she’s not and she never will be again,” the principal snickered.

 

“Actually Mr. Stewart, I need to let you know that we had a, uh, domestic reshuffling last night. Scott and Daniel and I are going to have a rough day or two.”  I was embarrassed to tell this man my personal failure, but what could I do, I had my boys’ care to mind. I couldn’t just give up and run off whenever things got difficult. Sorry…don’t go there, John. So, I’ll need to bare my soul now and again to be sure my boys are ok. I can deal with that.

 

“I’m so sorry. I’ve gone through one of those myself. If you ever need someone who can relate, please call me. In fact, here’s my home number and cell,” he said, digging into his wallet for a business card and writing the numbers on the back. I was very appreciative of his thoughtfulness and told him so. I doubted I would call him though. (We became very good friends over time. Go figure.)

 

“Well, Scott, would you like to get the hard part over with and let’s say we get you into class, okay?” Mr. Stewart offered.

 

Scott just shrugged, but he had been coming off my hip a little bit as we talked, so I could tell he was getting his confidence back. I think he really did like going to school, he just needed a good atmosphere for a while. 

 

“I really do believe that you will have a good day today. Your normal teacher is back, a very nice lady I know you’ll like. I will be around to the class numerous times to look in on everything.  Further, after talking to the class yesterday, I found that Mrs. Shiplitts was not liked by the class at all. I think she scared everyone. So, head up! Confident! Let’s go do this and you’ll see what a great school we have here…okay?” Scotty was grinning at this pep talk and nodded confidently.

 

The class readily took Scotty back into their midst, everyone up and clapping him on the back and cheerily welcoming him back. I heard one boy tell him that he was ‘so glad he got that mean cow fired’ at the top of his lungs. I grinned over at the principal and he met my eyes with a smile of his own. We left after I gave the teacher one of my cards and gave one to Mr. Stewart as well. Now, to tackle Mr. Atkins and give him the low down on the last 24 hours. 

 

Life returned to some semblance of normal, a new normal. I spent the next month buying needed furnishings as money became available, learned to cook, and got the boys into good activities at school and at home with the neighborhood kids. I spoke with the Social Worker, who oddly told me that it was me that was approved for Scott’s guardian. They never got around to approving Sara. Since I was very open with her about what Scott was going through and since he was doing better and better in my care, she saw no reason to make any changes.

 

I talked Mr. Atkins into spending some of the company’s money to buy an empty lot in the neighborhood. Bob and I named it ‘Atkins Field’, to his embarrassed but wide smile, and put in a youth size baseball field. Bob and I share the care of it and occasionally umpire the games, and the neighborhood chips in for insurance.

 

Sara and I got our divorce. I never filed, she did. I guess I was hoping she would come back. I was angry, hurt, humiliated. I loved her. She didn’t love me. Her attempt to get custody of Daniel was a laugh. Daniel just looked up at the judge and told him “Why, so she can leave me again? She didn’t want me on the worst day of my life. When I needed her the most, she was gone without even saying goodbye. I don’t want to see her ever again!”

 

I told the judge that I was ok with Daniel spending time with her, but I would not force him. Putting that into the record, the judge gave me full custody with child support to come from her at roughly a c-note a week. I got two checks and that was the end. Danny heard from her twice, then that was the end of that as well.

 

It was sometime later … let’s see, Daniel was about 12y 9m and Scott was just about 10 when I heard noises coming from their room one late Friday night. It was surely just wrestling, I thought, and looked through their door when I heard Daniel squeal. I confirmed that it was more. Daniel was pressed deeply into Scotty, and both seemed to like what they were doing. I didn’t interfere, just like I didn’t interfere when I knew they were having oral sex. I couldn’t help but be concerned for Scotty’s safety, as this sort of thing is not always so well thought of in youthful society. I resolved to speak with Scotty. So, when a couple of days had passed, I had a chance to take Scott out for a day while Daniel stayed with Bob, Alice, and their two boys. We spent the day buying some needed items for his wardrobe, saw a movie, a trip to the burger joint, and then out to somewhere quiet to talk.

 

“Buddy, I noticed that you and Daniel are getting along very well, huh?”  Scott looked up to me with a smile.

 

“Yeah, he’s a good big brother,” Scotty replied.

 

“School is going well? You seem to have lots of friends,” I said.

 

“Yeah,” he replied.

 

“Scotty, there is something that has me somewhat concerned. I noticed you and Daniel have been having some play that might be called sexy play, having fun with your penis and such. How do you feel about that kind of play between you two?”

 

Scott’s eyes got really big and he dropped his head.

 

“I’m sorry. Danny said not to let you find out. But it was my idea, don’t be mad at him. I won’t do it anymore, please don’t be mad at Danny. Please don’t send me away. I’ll be good. I’m sorry, I’ll be good.”

 

“Whoa, whoa, Scotty.” I pulled this still very small boy into my lap and hugged him close. “I’m not mad, as long as you both are doing what you want, as long as there is no one being pressured or forced. If something is happening against someone’s will, if one of you is forced to do something you don’t want to do, or pressured into it, then I’d be pissed. But, if you both want to do the sexy play, I’m okay with it. Is that the case? Or, is someone being forced?”

 

“No, we like it. It feels good,” he said, still with his head down.

 

“Yeah, I know it does. Do you have sexy play with anyone else?” I asked.

 

“No, not really.”

 

“What’s ‘not really’ mean?” I asked.

 

 “Well, sometimes some of my friends and I sort of play.”

 

“Okay, Scott. You are free to make your own choices. But, please listen closely, okay? Sometimes kids can be very cruel. I know you have seen grown-ups be cruel, but kids can be mean too. Sometimes, they can say things that feel terrible. Now, boys having sexy play is okay. But some boys will be mean afterwards. So, be very careful who you have sexy play with. They need to be someone who cares about you, not just someone who wants to feel good. You are a great kid, and you are worthy of respect. Don’t let others disrespect you, and don’t disrespect yourself. You get me, kiddo?”

 

“Sort of,” he replied softly.

 

“What sort of questions do you have about that?”

 

“Well, how do I know if I can have sexy play with that person or not?” he asked, very seriously looking up into my eyes.

 

“Okay, first, be sure you know that person well. Be good friends first, okay. Next, be sure to see how that person deals with others. Does he take advantage of other kids, talk bad about them, that sort of thing.”

 

“Well, I guess that makes sense.”

 

“Scotty, if you have any doubts, questions, concerns, you know where I am. Just know that I love you, every day, no matter what is going on, no matter if I’ve had a bad day, and no matter if the world is coming to an end around our ears. Don’t get me wrong, I want the best from you. I want you to do your best all the time and I want only the best things for you. Nonetheless, I love you without conditions on what you do or say. You and Danny are my boys, my sons, and every day is a blessing just knowing you are alive and love me. So, never feel scared about coming to me about anything. Okay?”

 

“Yeah, I love you too Daddy.”

 

We just stayed there; Scott rolled up into my lap holding me tightly as I held him. There is such a feeling of, well, just an overwhelming love in the heart when your son sits in your lap and holds you tight. That feeling of being needed, loved, wanted by someone, and holding that so very precious life in your arms and feeling the love flow.  It is downright wonderful.

 

It struck me, then, that so many of us miss out on this whole love thing. Scotty had developed a somewhat skewed version of love, and if I enter into my last breath this moment it will be with the enduring commitment that I show him that I love him just for him. Daniel, my boy, missed out on my love because I was so wrapped up in frustrations. He has been abandoned first by me, then by his mother. Perhaps he has forgiven me. I can only hope. But he will never be abandoned by me again. I’ve loved and lost a wife, but I’ve gained so much in these two boys that I say good riddance. I can’t help but to feel guilty in thinking that I didn’t love Sara enough to satisfy her. Looking down at this wonderful little boy, curled quietly in my lap as he soaks up all the love I can pour into him, I find that I love my ex-wife just enough to feel sorry for her. Somehow, I don’t think she will feel real love ever again.

 

The end.